House Poor is Out. “Kid Poor” is In.

Why the cost of modern parenting is drowning families—and how to be the adult in the room to fix it.

This is an article I began writing 8 months ago. I delayed publishing it because my inner circle said I would get a lot of hate mail.. Well, after seeing more families fall into these situations, I have to speak out.  For what it’s worth, I softened the wording to make this easier to digest.  

Every parent shares a universal instinct: the desire to give their children the world. We feel a heavy, almost biological responsibility to provide every opportunity life has to offer. In previous generations, this was simpler. Forty years ago, parenting often meant handing a child a stick and a ball, or a cardboard box, and telling them to play outside until the streetlights came on.

But times have changed. Today, we have access to better homes, safer neighborhoods, and elite activities. We want our children to explore every opportunity, from travel to competitive sports. There is nothing inherently wrong with that ambition.

However, this ambition has birthed a new financial crisis. We used to worry about being “House Poor.” Today, families are becoming “Kid Poor.”

The Inflation of Childhood: The Cost of “Yes”

It is easier than ever to give your kids everything—provided you have the money. And that is where the empathy ends and the math begins. The cost of participation has skyrocketed, often outpacing general inflation.

Consider the cost of a quintessential Canadian tradition: Hockey.

Table 1: The Escalating Cost of Canada’s Game

(Estimates based on annual costs for a single child)

Activity Level	Registration Fees	Equipment Estimates	Total Annual Range
House League	$600 – $700	$500 – $2,000	$1,100 – $2,700
Competitive (AAA)	$5,000 – $10,000	$2,000+ (Upgraded)	$7,000 – $12,000+

Note: These figures do not include travel, hotels, gas, or food.

Now, multiply these figures if you have two or three children. Add in competitive dance, cheer, swimming, or basketball. The result is a burn rate that most salaries cannot sustain.

The Harsh Reality: Being the Adult in the Room

Here is the tough question we need to ask ourselves: Do you actually have a duty to give your child every single thing they want?

The answer is no.

While the emotional pressure is real, you are the adult in the room. It is your job to distinguish between “providing opportunity” and “jeopardizing the family’s future.” Many parents are embarrassed to admit they are funding these childhood experiences using high-interest credit cards and lines of credit.

This is where the “Adult” decision must be made. You cannot have it all. Being a good parent isn’t just about saying “yes” to the activity; it’s about modeling financial responsibility.

The Math: A Snapshot of the “Average” Family

Most financial advice starts with “stop buying coffee.” But skipping a latte won’t save you when you are battling structural debt.

If your children are between the ages of 7 and 15, you likely have significant equity in your home. To understand why you need to use this equity, let’s look at the math of a typical Canadian family.

The Scenario:

We are looking at an average mortgage balance of $360,000 (a common reality for families in their 30s and 40s) plus the typical “Active Family” consumer debt load of $70,000 (two cars, credit cards, and lines of credit).

Table 2: The Current Reality (Before Restructuring)

This is what it costs to service these debts separately.

Debt Type	Average Balance	Est. Monthly Payment	Monthly Interest Loss (Approx)
Existing Mortgage	$360,000	~$2,200	~$1,500
Car Loans	$35,000	$750	~$230
Credit Cards	$15,000	$450 (Min. Pay)	~$250
Line of Credit	$20,000	$175 (Interest Only)	$175
TOTALS	$430,000	$3,575 / month	~$2,155 / month

The Problem: In this scenario, you are paying $3,575 a month just to keep the lights on and the creditors happy. Even worse, over $2,100 of that hard-earned money is vanishing into interest every single month.

The Solution: The “Adult” Restructure

This is where we stop bleeding cash. By leveraging your home equity, we consolidate the entire $430,000 load into a single, manageable mortgage vehicle with a 30-year amortization.

Table 3: The Restructured Reality

Consolidating $430,000 into one mortgage payment.

	Current Situation	Restructured Situation
Total Debt Load	$430,000	$430,000
Monthly Payment	$3,575	$2,166
Monthly Cash Flow Savings	—	$1,409

The Result: By restructuring, you are not just “moving money around.” You are instantly recovering $1,409 in monthly cash flow.

The Plan of Action

Being the adult means being proactive. You cannot continue to pay $3,575 a month when the solution to pay $2,166 is sitting right in front of you.

1. Stop Overpaying: Use your equity. Consolidate high-interest “activity debt” and your existing mortgage. This immediately frees up over $1,400 a month.
2. Set a Hard Budget: With that $1,400 saved, you don’t go shopping. You build a safety net.
3. Make Visible Sacrifices:

• Dining: Go out once a week, not four times.
• Habits: Brown-bag lunch for work and school.
• Longevity: Extend the life of your car and clothes. Delay the renovation.

And now times all of this math by 2 or 3 for those that live in major urban centres.  

You don’t need to cut everything, but you must tone down the spending. Restructure your debt to save your cash flow, and then use your budget to ensure you never end up in that hole again. That is the greatest opportunity you can give your kids: a financially stable home.

Your best interest is my only interest. I reply to all questions and I welcome your comments. Like this article? Share with a friend.

Steve Garganis: 416-224-0114; steve@canadamortgagenews.